Come in. Close the door behind you. Pick me up. Hold me in your hand. Feel the weight of me. I’m hard and full and ready to discharge. Have a seat on your marital bed. Get comfortable. If we do this just right, just so, he won’t catch us. And by the time he realizes you’re gone, it’ll be his turn to cry. His turn to feel hot stinging tears.

Quit shaking, woman. You’re gonna get us caught. That’s it. Wrap your fingers around it. With your other hand, cradle my butt. Fashion your lips in an O. Slip me inside your mouth while looking at me. Go on, squeeze.

Quit overthinking this. You know why you’re here. You’re a bad wife, a terrible mother, and a selfish, friendless whore. A failure. Everything you touch turns to shit. You’re here because the world rejects you.

Now do it.